Spring Break

I was stuck and depressed for awhile  Pretty much for all of February and the preceding months, then I made some changes, but the beginning of March was pretty much the same.  I knew that spring break was rapidly approaching and the thought of it was both exciting and daunting  I knew that I needed it.  Mentally and emotionally I have been SO drained and I need time to relax and renew.  At the same time I was daunted and worried that it would be just more of the same and my depression would not change.  Finally I made a decision:  I decided that I would enjoy this time and be gentle with myself.

My family and I made plans for spring break months ago.  We were supposed to go to a resort in Oregon.  I have been looking forward to getting away, but when I decided to move out and be on my own I was concerned about not working that week.  It was a timely blessing that a friend of mine asked me to house/dogsit for this week.  As spring break approached I could tell that I was starting to regret not getting away with my family, but I decided that it was the best decision for ME. Also responsible now that I am on my own.  In a sense I have still gotten away since I am not working my everyday job and I have a place  to stay that is away from my house yet within walking distance.  

With all the stress that has been inundating me; I kind of, well I call it “let myself go”  I weigh more than I ever have, but I’m trying hard not to get down on myself for this.  It doesn’t help me feel any better when I lay (the guilt ) it on thick.  I am glad I know what I need to do to get back on track!  My friend Tara and I committed to a daily 30 min. walk and so far I have upheld my commitment!   My canine friend Elle has been my workout buddy and it feels good to move my body.  I’m hoping to establish a habit of at least walking that way when I start working again and the pace of my life picks up; I am less daunted by the thought of exercise.

I am really enjoying my spring break.  Did I mention that I joined my church choir?  Well, I did and it feels amazing to sing!  After I damaged my vocal cords, I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to sing again.  Yesterday my friend Mica and I went on a hike around Rampart Ridge near Mount Rainier.  We hiked through the snow and the views were breathtaking  The whole trip was breathtaking both literally and figuratively and was a reminder of how glorious it feels to be alive.  Every step was so empowering to me even though every breath was belabored from being out of shape.  When I woke up that morning, all I wanted to do was stay in bed, but now I am SO glad that I went!

I have been walking here, there and everywhere and I got a bus pass.  These are definitely some changes in my lifestyle and I am fully embracing them and enjoying the ride… or walk depending on the weather ;).

I have noticed from past self-observation that as it gets closer to the time I have to go back to work; my mind gets flooded by worry or fear that I will get weighed down my depression.  This time around I am going to do my best not to worry about this.  I am challenging myself to stay positive and look forward to what each day brings.  I am going to stay more in the present moment than I have been.

Thank you so much for taking time to read this bit of my story.  I hope you are having a wonderful spring break too!

Peace, Joy, and Blessings Always,

Alana 

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4 thoughts on “Spring Break

  1. I learned this a while ago: The idea is to take action IN SPITE of our emotional state. Emotions come and go, but the action that we take will last forever. It has helped me so I hope it helps you. Cheers 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for reading and thanks for your advice! I like that, I will take action IN SPITE of how I feel. I was starting to already feel nervous about going back to work and getting into the swing of things, but I will do my best to keep moving towards my goals. I hope you are having a wonderful spring and enjoy your weekend!!!

  2. Reblogged this on Living Out Loud and commented:

    It was fun to look back on my spring break 6 years ago and realize just how far I have come since then. I had reached an all-time -low and was so stressed, but still doing my best.. Keep working towards your goals. You are getting there and you will be so thankful that you never gave up no matter how hard everything was…

    ❤ Alana

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