Spring Break

I was stuck and depressed for awhile  Pretty much for all of February and the preceding months, then I made some changes, but the beginning of March was pretty much the same.  I knew that spring break was rapidly approaching and the thought of it was both exciting and daunting  I knew that I needed it.  Mentally and emotionally I have been SO drained and I need time to relax and renew.  At the same time I was daunted and worried that it would be just more of the same and my depression would not change.  Finally I made a decision:  I decided that I would enjoy this time and be gentle with myself.

My family and I made plans for spring break months ago.  We were supposed to go to a resort in Oregon.  I have been looking forward to getting away, but when I decided to move out and be on my own I was concerned about not working that week.  It was a timely blessing that a friend of mine asked me to house/dogsit for this week.  As spring break approached I could tell that I was starting to regret not getting away with my family, but I decided that it was the best decision for ME. Also responsible now that I am on my own.  In a sense I have still gotten away since I am not working my everyday job and I have a place  to stay that is away from my house yet within walking distance.  

With all the stress that has been inundating me; I kind of, well I call it “let myself go”  I weigh more than I ever have, but I’m trying hard not to get down on myself for this.  It doesn’t help me feel any better when I lay (the guilt ) it on thick.  I am glad I know what I need to do to get back on track!  My friend Tara and I committed to a daily 30 min. walk and so far I have upheld my commitment!   My canine friend Elle has been my workout buddy and it feels good to move my body.  I’m hoping to establish a habit of at least walking that way when I start working again and the pace of my life picks up; I am less daunted by the thought of exercise.

I am really enjoying my spring break.  Did I mention that I joined my church choir?  Well, I did and it feels amazing to sing!  After I damaged my vocal cords, I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to sing again.  Yesterday my friend Mica and I went on a hike around Rampart Ridge near Mount Rainier.  We hiked through the snow and the views were breathtaking  The whole trip was breathtaking both literally and figuratively and was a reminder of how glorious it feels to be alive.  Every step was so empowering to me even though every breath was belabored from being out of shape.  When I woke up that morning, all I wanted to do was stay in bed, but now I am SO glad that I went!

I have been walking here, there and everywhere and I got a bus pass.  These are definitely some changes in my lifestyle and I am fully embracing them and enjoying the ride… or walk depending on the weather ;).

I have noticed from past self-observation that as it gets closer to the time I have to go back to work; my mind gets flooded by worry or fear that I will get weighed down my depression.  This time around I am going to do my best not to worry about this.  I am challenging myself to stay positive and look forward to what each day brings.  I am going to stay more in the present moment than I have been.

Thank you so much for taking time to read this bit of my story.  I hope you are having a wonderful spring break too!

Peace, Joy, and Blessings Always,

Alana 

3 thoughts on “Spring Break

  1. I learned this a while ago: The idea is to take action IN SPITE of our emotional state. Emotions come and go, but the action that we take will last forever. It has helped me so I hope it helps you. Cheers 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for reading and thanks for your advice! I like that, I will take action IN SPITE of how I feel. I was starting to already feel nervous about going back to work and getting into the swing of things, but I will do my best to keep moving towards my goals. I hope you are having a wonderful spring and enjoy your weekend!!!

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