Tonight I used candy to cope…
It was the delicious peppermint bark Ghiradelli Square so hopefully I get points for having good taste, but the problem is that I had more than one square. Yeah that is NO Excuse. Nice try!
It is not the end of the world and I know that I can get back on track I just need to leave it at this and not allow it to spiral out of control.
I had a long productive day at work and I went in early to face my fear and do a strength training workout. I pushed and challenged myself and it was a great workout. During my lunch break I even went outside for a half-hour run and it was a refreshing way for me to clear my mind.
I did a decent job with my nutrition the first part of my day. I followed up my workout with a shake, ate during my 10 minute break, then ate dinner after my run and before coaching swim club. I think I am on the right track I just need to make better choices after work. After work I preceded to eat another less nutritious dinner then feast on deliciously decadent peppermint bark.
I have my morning/pre-work routine down pretty well. Now I just have to work on my evenings after work and my bedtime routine. I was feeling kind of down. So many changes have been happening, but a lot of them have been for the best. I need to remember that and not be derailed or discouraged by the broken tracks and little bumps in the road.
I need to keep my mind and heart focused on the blessings and to keep moving forward. Even on the bad days.
If I had a vice it would probably be chocolate and other foods. It is what I have turned to in the past to cope. Something that has helped me feel almost instantly better. I think this is a good time for me to explore different ways to cope and to consider the consequences of my actions.
A lot of times I have gotten off track during this time of year. There is something about the fall/winter season. I left for Cali shortly after Thanksgiving then moved there shortly after Christmas. Every time that I have gotten off of my fitness routine has always been during this time of year.
Here is my opportunity to try something new. The best part is that I have the power AND the ability to change my life. If I want it to happen I just need to make it a priority.
I forgive myself for all the times that I turned to food and self-sabotage.
I forgive myself for all the times I felt like I didn’t deserve to be happy.
I forgive myself for all the times that I flooded my mind and heart with self-defeating, negative thoughts.
I forgive myself.
Right here and right NOW I feel that I AM READY, I AM WILLING, I AM WORTH-IT.