The Sad Times Give Us Soul.

I think back to those sleepless nights. All the fears, tears and pain. Wishing I could fix myself so all the problems would go away.

Trying new things. Keeping the place clean.  Hanging on to hope to see what tomorrow would bring.

Digging deep into my memories.  Missing my family. My love for you was like a disease.

I felt trapped with no escape. Lies, deceit, fear, and shame. For all the problems I took all the blame.

Looking at my reflection.  Trying to recognize myself.Finally deciding it was time to change direction.

Lived trapped for so long. I forgot what it felt like to be free. Completely forgot that freedom is a possibility.

All I knew was that I deserved way more. Took over two years to reach my breaking point.  I was ready to soar.

Packed up 2 bags full of 2 years. Put my lucky whistle and hiking boots on.  It was time to face my fears.

The door squeaked so loud he woke up with a start.

As soon as he ran towards me I began to dart.

As I left the city feeling like I was walking away from broken dreams.  I realized I was wise and not broken at the seams. Looking at that beautiful city through blurry, teary eyes.

I was stronger than I ever knew I was.  Striking out on my own.  Sometimes our greatest acts are accomplished alone.

Sometimes I get so angry with myself.

Wonder why I allowed myself to get into that situation.

I lost my early twenties to battles and so much pain.  The lessons that I learned were an invaluable gain.

At that point I have to smile because I made it.

Then remind myself that the struggles and the sad times give us soul.

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3 thoughts on “The Sad Times Give Us Soul.

  1. Reblogged this on Living Out Loud and commented:

    Looking back it almost feels like I am talking about a different person. It is hard to believe that that was me and my reality.
    I admire the courage and strength it took to survive that nightmare and the bravery it took to let go and move forward.
    Lately I have been feeling so weak and wonder where that strength has gone. Why do I get discouraged so easily?
    Time flies not matter what you are doing and I want to make my time count.
    Letting go is hard for me…
    I struggle to let go of my fears, doubts, and insecurities, but hanging on is keeping me from moving forward.
    It’s time to let that shit go…

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