Through the years I have witnessed and have met people who have said some harsh and hurtful things:
- You’re slow.
- You’re retarded.
- You have run out of chances.
- You’re used goods and nobody will want you.
- You’re co-dependent.
- You’re weak.
- You have a weak ego.
- “I ‘m not attracted to you physically, but you have a great personality.”
- “You are the thickest girl that I have ever been with. I have always been with thinner girls and I think that I will always want to be with a thinner girl.”
- I can’t lie about the fact that you’re obese.
- Maybe you will just always be plump.
- You always play the victim role.
- Watch out for her; she is probably trying to get pregnant. Don’t make the same mistake I made when I was your age.
- “I don’t want to sound shallow, but I just can’t see myself with someone who is overweight.”
- You’re too sensitive.
Maybe the comments are truthful and the people that speak them are just trying to be honest, but they all cut and are painful to hear.
I can’t stand the fact that people feel entitled to be so critical and judgmental of others. Why are people like this?
Do they realize that the words they say have the potential to be powerful and cause pain?
How would they feel if people said these things to them?
Do the recipients of these harsh words deserve this?
Do they somehow open themselves up to the criticism? Maybe in some ways it can be argued that they do. That they should take better care of themselves or be more confident… Or grow a thicker skin and stop being so sensitive.
The pattern I can see here is that the speaker of these words wants to change the other person. They believe that that individual is not good enough or somehow inadequate.
What ever happened to acceptance, unconditional love, and appreciating a person for who they are rather than how they look.
I know that a first impression can be powerful and maybe it is true that the beautiful people go farther in life, but we are all on a journey to becoming ourselves.
Maybe positive reinforcement, praise, and encouragement does not go as far as the brutal truth, but I do think that we should still try to share some kindness and joy.
What are your thoughts?
If you knew someone who was being criticized or scrutinized in these ways, what would you tell them?
If they are feeling broken down, how would you help them to breakthrough?!
Comment below to share your thoughts.
Love, Joy, and Blessings Always,