I am dwelling on the past a lot less and getting better at moving forward. I still get stuck every now and then and I have noticed that allowing myself to get overstressed is the worst thing that I can do. My mind spins, my thoughts become muddled, and my problem solving skills diminish. I think that I can change this or at least notice when it happens. I think recognition will be the first step.
Once I realize that I am stressing out unnecessarily; I need to change the direction of my thoughts and focus on what I CAN do. I think that staying calm will also help. I am unreasonable when I get overly stressed because I spin up “worst case scenarios” in my mind and it never leads me to the solutions that I need.
The next time I feel stressed about a situation, I will take a moving step that will move me towards my goal. Like complete some homework problems or show up early for class. If I am feeling unhappy with myself I will do some push-ups or go for a quick walk. If I am feeling jealous or insecure, I will do something that will better myself like practice my coding, study, or sing. Being idle and lazy is the worst thing I can do. I don’t think that the whole “Netflix and Chill” thing is very helpful. It is just another procrastination tool.
This week I took BIG risks and made some big decisions. I got an academic grant for school so I have decided to focus on school full-time this upcoming fall. That means that I will not be working full-time. It was a hard decision for me to make. This week I realized that I personally base my own self-worth on the work that I do everyday and the way that I make a living. I felt great about teaching and helping others because I felt like I was making a positive difference in the world. The only thing is my work schedule often conflicted with my school schedule and I was unable to study sufficiently. So I am putting myself first by making my school and education a priority.
I know that it will not be easy and I will have to make sacrifices, but I am up for the challenge.
Walking away from this job feels like a big risk. I enjoyed it and it was pretty easy. I also like the fact that I wasn’t tied to a desk and I like the people that I work with. Have full health care benefits is an added bonus and enough for me to want to stay, but I will not be able to get through school as effectively if I do not complete a full-program or have the time to dedicate to my studies so I am going to take this leap of faith!
Here are my goals for May!
Mix It Up!
Re-organize your life.
Do something you’ve never done before.
Go on an adventure!