When you are in the process of making big changes it often helps to start over. You need to uproot the weeds and some of the existing plants. Sir up some dirt and mix it with good soil. Create a new environment that is conducive to growth. Release the old ways and worn out ideologies that were not working in the past.
This is not an easy process, but often times; the hardest part is just getting started. You have to humble yourself, take time to reflect and prepare yourself to let go of habits that were not moving you forward. It is a challenging and humbling task. Some days you will want to go back to your old ways because they are comfortable and familiar…but not necessarily better…
This past week was one of “those” weeks for me. I was faced with myself and all my flaws and realized ways that I need to improve and be better. Sometimes it all feels so daunting. I have a long ways to go…I need to work on all aspects of my life… Mentally, spiritually, physically, intellectually, professionally, academically, personally. My relationship. I need to get out of my own way and grow. These realizations are painful.
Thursday night was not easy, but Friday was a pretty good day. On Saturday I performed with my college chorus and had a wonderful time. It was so nice to get all dressed up, invite my family and friends, and perform!!!
Our Theme was: “What to Tell the Children”
Here are the songs that we sang:
It felt so good to sing and perform. Christopher and my parents came to watch our performance. I really liked the messages in the songs “Children Will Listen” and “Teach Your Children.” One thing that I noticed and really enjoyed was the fact that I didn’t get nervous before the performance. I was just excited to perform.I want to continue to sing and train my voice. Over the weekend I was even pondering the thought of studying and eventually teaching voice lessons.
We spent Saturday afternoon preparing our “middle room” for our new tenant with a break in the evening for the performance. On Sunday our new tenant moved in and Christopher gave me a task on his website project!!! I am so glad that we had the long weekend! We spent all day Monday working on the website. I had homework that I wanted to complete and I wanted to finish preparing my presentation for statistics over the weekend, but I didn’t get that far. I have been feeling edgy and stressed about that fact, but I guess I will just have to be a “Diamond under Pressure” tomorrow. After this week, I will be done with my spring quarter classes so I just have to get through the week the best way that I can.
Tomorrow I have a performance with my “Musicianship class.” My performance partner and I didn’t get to meet so I think I will be performing a solo which I am not completely sure if I am ready for it, but again, I will just do my best.
So yes, this week is nerve-wracking for me, but I just need to get through it. I felt a little discouraged when my sundress felt snug when I put it on. I hope that I will be able to lose this weight. Sometimes I worry that I will do everything I can, but still won’t be able to lose it. I think I just need to focus on what I want rather than worrying about things… Easier said than done!
And just like that, May is over and tomorrow we are beginning a Brand new month! Lot’s of changes have been taking place and I feel like I am on a good track. I just can’t allow stress and my worries to get me down. I give my worries way more power than they deserve. Let’s see how I did on this past month’s goals:
Mix It Up!
- Get creative. I started singing and creating music. That’s pretty creative if you ask me!
- Re-organize your life. Moving is a good way to do this. We have roommates moving out and roommates moving in. When my current roommates move out, we will move back into our master suite. Do you remember how around Pi Day in March I was all sad about moving out of our master suite? Well, now we get it back!
- Paint Something. Hmmm we painted our kitchen table, that counts, right?!?!
- Do something you’ve never done before. I have been gardening and raising a puppy. Those are things I have never done before!
- Go on an adventure! Ruby and I went for a walk around the lake. That was pretty adventurous for us!
Looking back, I think I did a decent job on May’s goals. June will mark the half-way point of this year. It’s a good time to really get serious about making some positive changes in my life.
These are my June Goals!
Make Time For Family and Friends
- Write letters
- Remember birthdays
- Be Generous
- Be Present
- Don’t Gossip
I especially want to work on being present and stopping the gossip. I also want to be more generous with my time and put the important people in my life first.
I really hope that June will be a good month. May was not easy, but I had lots of opportunities to learn and grow. Wish me luck with the rest of this week!
I am also thinking of officially dating the start of my “Weightloss Journey” and making it tomorrow June 1st. I have been feeling inspired by others and youtube videos. I don’t think that I will vlog about my journey or create videos, but I will probably blog about it here and there. I just really want to get into good shape again. A year from now I want to be healthier and fitter than I am today. I am tired of lacking confidence and feeling uncomfortable with myself.
Goodnight my Dear Darling Friends! If you have read this far, God Bless You and Thank you for stopping by and taking time to visit me.
Love, Joy, and Blessings Always,