Autonomy and Independence doesn’t mean standing alone. It is making the CHOICE to stand on your own.
It has taken me awhile to personally get to this point, but today I can confidently say that I can see it, say it, and fully believe it.
I used to think that Autonomy meant that you had to be completely on your own. Single and celibate. A fully functional, disciplined machine that would chase its dreams relentlessly leaving all distractions behind.
That doesn’t sound so bad, does it? The reality is life is distracting AND we do not have to travel on our journeys alone. At the same time, it is good to have some alone time too…
Take some “You time” to be alone and explore your own thoughts.
For years, I was afraid to be alone. It made me sad and I would turn to people for comfort, company, and approval.
In my past relationships it was as if I was afraid to let there be space because I worried that we would grow apart… Through time and experience I have learned that it is healthy, important, and essential for both individuals to have some alone time and their own independent lives.
In my 1st healthy relationship he always said, “I want you to be complete and free.” That always stuck with me.
At one point I dated someone who was super clingy to the point that having 11 txt messages or 22 missed calls from them while I was at work was normal. The night that I got 82 missed calls I realized that too much time and reliance on each other is not healthy.
My current relationship has helped me grow into myself in so many ways. I am stronger, healthier, better at problem solving, and I want not only and healthy strong relationship, but I also want to be a strong and independent woman.
It IS possible to be independent AND in a relationship.
In fact, it is highly recommended that we keep our independence within our relationships.