Transform Your Life Project: #47

Hello Everyone!

I was still pretty ill at the beginning of this week, but got progressively better as the week went on.  I feel blessed to have a boyfriend who takes such good care of me.  I guess it isn’t always a bad thing to take some steps back and allow yourself to recover.

I have always thought that the 3 most humbling experiences are:

  1. Being sick.
  2. Being injured.
  3. Being out of shape.

I have had the opportunity to experience all three of these conditions at various times in my life and I think that I am learning to cope better with time.  The older I get, the more I realize that your health truly is your wealth.  It is up to each of us to take care of ourselves: Body, Mind, and Spirit.  It definitely is a balancing act with challenges along the way, but working to achieve that balance is a worthwhile pursuit.

I am still stressed about falling behind in school, but am thankful that we have reached Thanksgiving break so I have another chance to do some catch-up!  I spent a fair amount of time questioning myself this week…  It must have been all the down time.  I started to wonder if I should really consider studying something else that would come easier to me.  When I am struggling like I have been; it definitely feels tempting to make the switch.  I worry that I am too far behind and am not “smart enough” to do this.  More self-doubt…

If I give up now, I will have an incomplete mission.  My mission was to challenge myself and to conquer my fears.  I have observed a few things about myself.  I still have some social anxiety especially when I am not comfortable in the subject matter that we are studying.  I get sweaty, anxious, and my mind goes blank.  Being sick has magnified everything and has slowed the entire flow down even more.  Another observation is that I am still terrible at problem solving.  I never used to think that I was smart enough to solve some of the problems that I was faced with.  I would always “ask someone smarter.”

One thing that I know for sure is that I DON’T want to be this way forever.  I want to be a problem solver and I want to be confident in myself and my own abilities.  I don’t want to shrink and hide from situations that make me feel uncomfortable.  I want to be stronger and smarter than I am right now.

Another thing that I noticed is that I am pretty sensitive and I get defensive easily.  I think it is my way of protecting myself.  I really want to be respected.  I am tired of being the “nice girl” that people take advantage of and disrespect.  I think that I need to learn how to make myself a priority and to consider my needs.  I spent so many years helping others and sabotaging myself and I want to change that.

I think I need to learn how to be my own Hero ❤

I know, lots of raw thoughts today…  On a lighter note, I have been consistent with my workouts and am thankful that I have established a habit and am enjoying my workouts.  It helps me tremendously when you visit me and checkout my “Workout and Word of the Day”  I think it holds me accountable and keeps me inspired!


November

Keep a Contented Heart

Laugh out loud
Use good manners
Give positive reviews
Find an area of refuge

I haven’t done a lot of laughing this month because things have been fairly heavy, but I am okay with that.  November has historically been a pretty somber month for me.  I just feel blessed that my past is stuck in the past!  I know that I can’t always have everything at once, but I Can work towards what I want.  

I know what I need to do.  I need to put in more study time and increase my GUMPTION.  I know that I can do better than this.  Now that my health is on the mend, I have a little more energy to move forward!

Who are you spending your Thanksgiving with and what are you bringing to the dinner table?!?!  Comment below to share!  I would love to hear all about it!

Love, Joy, and Blessings Always,

Alana Xoxoxo

NaBloPoMo November 2016

2 thoughts on “Transform Your Life Project: #47

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