This week I will admit that I was in a very whiny and pouty mood. Nothing bad happened. In fact it was quite the contrary since we got snow and school was cancelled two days in a row. I planned less. Slept more. Watched netflix and played games. Sounds pretty nice, right? And in a lot of ways it definitely was, but my inconsistency got me feeling down.
The week before this past one was jam-packed and I made it a point to write out a schedule the night before. I was initially worried that I would get tired, but I actually felt energized even with my busy schedule. I think that might be the “secret.” I have more energy and a sense of purpose when I organize my life and stay busy.
As the week went on I felt more grumpy and depressed over little dumb trivial things. It probably was because of the lack of sleep I was getting. This afternoon I started to think about how I never felt depressed when I was growing up. I would feel anxious and worry even back then, but I was always too busy to feel down and depressed. I spent more time focusing on the blessings in my life and praying through every challenge I was faced with.
Overtime life got heavier and I began to experience heartbreak and pain. Yes, depression could be warranted after the nightmare I survived through. PTSD can be hard to deal with, but it is a blessing that my life improves every year and the fears I used to deal with on the daily are beginning to disappear.
Today I decided that I want to be a person who is a joy to be around. Life is heavy and unfair enough I don’t need to make it worse with a dark demeanor. When it all comes down to it; I am simply too blessed to be stressed <3.