If You’re Under Him You Ain’t Getting Over Him


I recognize and even somewhat empathize with that whole “let’s be friends mindset.”

Trust me, I have been there in the past (trying to “make it work”) and it drove me crazy because it DOES NOT WORK.

Break-ups and/or rejection are hard enough, but nothing complicates the process more than trying to be friends.

It is a nice thought in theory.  Who wouldn’t love to have that connection that was there back when things were light, free, and fun?  Before everything became so personal…

Getting past the beginning and experiencing a deeper connection is a beautiful thing, but it is a risk.  We risk opening up and getting hurt, but we do it willingly because we believe that person is worthy.

Treasure that time and do your best to stay present and not worry about the future…

Sometimes things are not meant to be and we are faced with “the break-up.”  In theory, “let’s be friends” sounds like an amicable way to part.

Looking back on my early twenties I think that “trying to be friends” only made things harder.

There are some women who see it as “recycling” and are able to go back every now and then without attachment or strings, but that does not work for me.

I just can’t be second best…  Maybe it is a little bit selfish, but it is the truth.  My truth.

When I am with someone I want to be his One and ONLY because he is my One and Only.

And this brings me to Dua Lipa’s song “New Rules.”  This is some real talk that I totally agree with:

  1. Don’t pick up the phone you know he’s only calling ’cause he’s drunk and alone.
  2. Don’t let him in, you’ll have to kick him out again.
  3. Don’t be his friend you know you’ll only wake up in his bed in the morning.

And if you’re under him you ain’t getting over him!

~Dua Lipa

I want to remind you that you are beautiful, strong, and amazing and you deserve someone who adores and respects the real and true beautiful YOU.

Every now and then I reminisce on my past and go through past friendships and relationships.  I remember the times that I hoped things would work out.  Or that someday he would realize how wonderful I am.

And then I look at how far I have come and realize that I would not change a thing.  In fact, I am glad things did not work out in the past because everything turned out to be far greater than I could have ever imagined.

I love my life and the people in my life and I am looking forward to the future.  This was made possible by the fact that I was willing to let go of my past to create room in my life for better things and bigger blessings.

Never settle. Never settle.  Never settle.

Love, Joy, and Blessings Always,

❤ Alana Xoxoxo

8 thoughts on “If You’re Under Him You Ain’t Getting Over Him

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