Sadness is an emotion along with happiness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust. It is natural to feel sadness, but we live in a time when happiness (or a false sense or appearance of happiness) is glorified and almost elevated above the other emotions. This happens so often that one might think that being sad and depressed means something is wrong with them.
Life can be hard, painful, unfair, and heartbreaking. It is hard not to feel sad when you are in pain or experience loss. In fact I fully believe that it is good to feel those feelings fully then allow them to pass.
At the same time, like anything else,
“You can become addicted to a certain kind of sadness.”
I have gone through hard times, heartache and pain and my experiences have helped me build character and become the woman that I am today.
I even believe that:
There are times when life and circumstances really are sad and heartbreaking.
I become concerned when the sadness continues and does not go away especially when I cannot figure out why I am sad.
That is where I am at today. I have been feeling kind of down lately. I think I must be a little homesick and not exactly for home specifically… I like where I am right now, but I do miss my friends and my family and I think more than anything else I miss familiarity.
For the past 3 years we lived in our 1st house in the town that we both grew up in and before that I was on my own in that same town. The longest that I ever spent away from home was the 2 years that I lived down in Cali. Not to mention, I got so homesick when we moved to New Zealand (for 2 weeks). I loved New Zealand, but I was mainly missing our cats.
This time around we brought our cats and my sister along on this adventure and I am so happy about that. We have a beautiful place to call home, there is no traffic, and we are surrounded by so much beauty. Also we both have jobs that we enjoy and I get along so well with the ladies that I work with. Additionally, I am losing weight and sticking with a good workout routine.
This is the very 1st time in my entire life that I have ever done both Buti Yoga and pilates for 25 days in a row!!!
I just know that I usually explore more and spend more time discovering favorite places, but I think it was easy in our last city because I lived there my entire life and I felt comfortable. Those roads and those places were so familiar and I had lots of adventure buddies back then.
Here in this new place where not many people know my name, I feel a little more intimidated and find myself going to the same places, staying close to home and sticking with things that are familiar.
I have my family here: Christopher, Alleyjandra, and Carl and I love this beautiful place that we call home. I just need to be patient with myself and allow myself to adjust and come into my own.
And sometimes there is nothing wrong with being Alone…