Healing Takes Place…

I spent so many years fighting and feeling upset whenever I got sick or had to deal with health issues.

I also spent so many years heartbroken by the circumstances I found myself in and the effects they had on my life.  I desperately wanted to heal my heart, mind, and soul from the trauma and physical and mental abuse that I experienced.

It has been a little over 8 years since I left a severely abusive relationship.  That person showed up on my doorstep on Thanksgiving and I had to go into hiding, constantly look over my shoulder,  and even thought I would have to change my name to remain safe.

I remember feeling so powerless, fearful, and so alone.  At the same time, I felt  blessed that I decided to come home and that I had friends and family to encourage and support me.  That person tried to haunt my life for 2 more years before they finally stopped bothering me.

This used to be the most painful time of year for me and I would get so many nightmares, flashbacks, and body memory.  For awhile I wondered if the nightmare would ever go away and hoped that someday I would be able to live my life without walking on eggshells or looking over my shoulder.

It took a long time, but the healing slowly took place.

At first I talked about it fairly frequently.  I hardly knew how to handle it and needed to talk through it to process everything.  Then 2 years after the person stopped bothering me I decided it was time to actively move on.

The man in my life right now helped me by suggesting that I start leaving that painful story in the past.  He saw that when I recounted the events and talked about it; it hurt me and made me feel sad and weak.

I fought it in the beginning then decided to give it a try.  I stopped talking about it and it stopped having power over me.  I stayed busy and worked hard to reinvent myself.

I am talking about it now to reflect on my progress and because I am proud of how much my heart has healed.  When I think about that time and the pain I experienced that person I was is feeling more and more like a stranger to me.

So the next time you feel heartbroken, sad, sick, or ill.  Try not to fight it.  Take deep breaths, reflect, and give yourself a chance to rest.

This week I was so stressed and upset about being sick and missing class and my workouts.  It felt like I was getting worse and worse, but yesterday I chose to get excused from class to rest.  I also made the decision to take the week off from working out.  Once I made those decisions, it put me back into an empowering place and I noticed that I started to feel better.

No matter what you are going through, I want you to know that healing takes place.  Give yourself time and get lots of rest.

❤ Alana

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s