How Do You Love Yourself?

Today I noticed that I was being extra critical of myself.  That has been an ongoing theme in my life lately…  I have been extra critical and beating myself up over all the good food and drinks I enjoyed over the holidays.

I have to admit that this morning I looked in the mirror and felt immediately disgusted by the extra fluff around my waist or the way that my clothes do not make me feel as svelte and sexy as they did a month ago.

I sort of clicked into the “I need to love myself exactly where I am at right here and now mode.”  I think it is honestly kind of easy to use that as a cop out.  I know that I have many times.  We often get into this “mode” when we are ashamed of where we are…  Ashamed of our current condition…  Ashamed that I “let myself go”…

I decided to pause and ask myself, “What does loving myself in this skin and size really mean?”  I realized that it is easy to say, but actually hard to do.  Sometimes I say it then it immediately gets thrown on the back burner.  Or worse, I use it as an excuse to continue to overindulge.  “I love being big, curvy, and beautiful.”

And while this is true, the reason why I want to keep this pattern in check is because I do not want to excuse myself to the point that I get so unhealthy and develop health conditions that are irreversible.  It could happen…  It happens to people everyday.

The older I get, the more I cringe when I think back on my upbringing and that phrase.  “Everything in moderation.”  The truth is that “Everything in moderation is NOT okay.”  Some people simply cannot metabolize alcohol and carbs very well and I happen to be one of those folks.

I want to experiment with a new kind of “love.” Yes, love is acceptance, but love is also saying no to the things we would like in the moment because we are thinking about our future selves.

Love can be simply saying no…

 

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6 thoughts on “How Do You Love Yourself?

  1. Oh Alana, how often have I found myself in this situation. It’s almost automatic, that we don’t want to see it when we’re indulging and when we “wake up”, we always beat ourselves up… I think that sometimes, we need to see ourselves in a third person. I’ve been ill a lot the past year and have been diagnosed with an auto immune disease. I’ve stopped beating myself up. And started to see myself as someone I want to take care of and be worried about… For me, this way of thinking helps… I would hold my arms up as if I’d try to console myself… Because at the end of the day, no one will care as much about us, then ourselves… xoxo Sarah

    1. Hi Sarah, I am going to try that. Seeing myself in the 3rd person as someone who deserves love, care and respect. I am sorry to hear that you have been ill. I am going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. That is true, no one else can care for ourselves the way we can. I am sending you great big *hugs*

      ❤ Alana

      1. It might be strange seeing yourself in that way. But once you start, it get’s easier. You’ll take care of yourself better this way… Thanks for your kind words Alana! They mean a lot to me! big Hug! xoxo Sarah

  2. I love this: ‘love can be saying no because we are thinking about our future self’. That made me just put down the jar of peanuts I was working on! Thank you ❤ Years ago as hard as it was I started looking into my own eyes in the mirror and repeated "I love you". As that became easier, I started telling myself "I love you" every time I caught my own reflection. Fast forward several years and I *love* myself, and any traces of self-criticism are gone. It's so worth the initial efforts. Sometimes I think we don't realize how hard just being here and being human can be. Self-reflection takes guts – I think you're doing great! 🙂

    1. Thank you so much ❤ that is something that I have to remind myself of often. Self-love takes practice and consistency. Thank you for sharing your own experience and growth. I admire you and love the fact that "I love you" became a part of your entire being. That is such a wonderful and literal form of self-reflection. I will have to practice that. Thanks again for your kind words and encouragement. I hope you are having a great week!

      ❤ Alana

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