A Life of Drama in a Colorful World

I will never understand some people and I am sure that some people think the same thing about me.

My life has been quite colorful and to the outside world, some people would say that my life is full of drama or drama follows me.  In some ways that may be true, but dramatic things have happened to me and there were times that I made dramatic decisions that created dramatic consequences.  And some of this “drama” was beyond my control.

The liberating part about all of this is that I own my past decisions and I take responsibility for them. I know that when it comes down to it, I can blame myself for some of the choices that I have made.  That is actually an empowering place to operate from and I would not change it.  My mistakes have helped sculpt me into the person I am becoming.   I had lots of moments (especially in my late teens to early 20’s) that I would call “not my brightest moments.”

I wanted to believe.  I wanted to trust.  I wanted to love.  But I believed a lie.  I trusted the wrong people.  And that really was not love.

All those “not my brightest moment” years taught me lots of valuable lessons about myself and the world.  Lessons that I will carry with me forever and share with the people who I care about.  The universe kept hitting me in the head with these lessons and giving me lots of endless opportunities until the lesson finally sunk in.

Through those times, I had angels who helped me pick myself up from my knees, get into a vertical position and move in a forward direction.  Sometimes the directions I chose were wrong and I got a little lost, but I discovered some of the most beautiful detours and am finding my way.

This life really is an adventure and I hope and pray that it will continue to be colorful.  I think that is a key lesson:

“No matter what you are going through, always continue to hope and pray.”

You do not have to be religious to pray and if you are that is wonderful too.  Praying could be reflecting on your day.  Practicing gratitude.  Hoping for the best.  Sending warm, healing thoughts to the people we love.  It is a form of self-expression.  One thing I appreciate about prayer is that you can complain when you pray.

“Why the heck is this happening?”  “Why is life so unfair?”  “Why do we have to say goodbye to the people we love the most?”

Prayer is a process and an avenue to peace.  Prayer is what helped me survive the hell I went through.  And prayer is what keeps me hopeful.

To all the beautiful souls out there and the angels who helped lift me to my feet; you are in my thoughts and prayers every day.   May you be loved.  May you find Peace.  And may you always have Hope.

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4 thoughts on “A Life of Drama in a Colorful World

  1. Beautiful post Alana! I sometimes don’t want to think what I did wrong in the past, because it would make me itch to my bones… The only thing I can do about that is think on how I can get better now and in the future. Though I do understand why I did something in the past. It helps to put things in perspective. I sometimes also see the past me in another person and this helps not to judge and to be understanding. If anything, making mistakes in the past and going through some major and minor drama will make you a better person, in my opinion… xoxo Sarah

    1. Thank you Sarah! It definitely is interesting to look back on our stories. I often cringe too and wonder what I was thinking when I made certain choices. This post came up because some distant family members got into an argument. Luckily, I am not involved at all, but an aunt of mine who is involved spent so much time being so critical of me and has picked on my little sister for no good reason.

      I also had to distance myself from a new friend that I made at the end of the year and I did not get to say goodbye. I think this post was a way of finding closure and thanking those angels in my life who have helped me through snapshots of time. You are one of those angels too, Sarah.

      ❤ Alana

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