What’s The Point?…

I have written in a journal for years and was so proud of the volumes of life stories that I wrote.  I remember back in 2011 when I decided to stop censoring my journals because I wanted to look back and remember exactly what it was like to be 23 years old.

I looked forward to going shopping for my next journal and treasured the journals my friends and family gave me as gifts.  It is a ritual that has carried me through the highs and lows of the last decade and beyond.  I loved looking back on past journals and rejoicing in the progress I had made.

My journals became heavier with every move and I especially noticed it a year ago when we sold our first house and I moved across the country.  I wanted to take my stories with me, but they were too heavy to take on the journey so I put them into storage…

Last month, nearly a year later I decided to recycle almost every journal.  I decided that it would be a good way to let go of the past and free up some energy and space for new adventures.  As I tossed these journals into the recycle bin apprehensively, I worried that I would regret this decision.  I decided to take a leap of faith and let go…

When it becomes a burden rather than a source of joy and inspiration, that is how you know that it is time to let go.

I have noticed that I have been feeling unmotivated to journal in this past month because I feel like, “what’s the point?”  Am I just going to write these stories, thoughts, and insights down just to toss them out later?  I do not want to waste my time, but I also know that writing is a wonderful outlet for me.

My twenties are over and I have entered my 30’s bravely with some reluctance.  I guess that confidence does not just happen one day just because you are 30.  It is a quality that is built over time with experience and ongoing practice.  I have been experiencing a creativity block and I think that writing will help me climb this hill and see the other side.

What’s the point?  I would rather organize my thoughts on paper than keep them chaotically jumbled in my mind.

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