I have written in a journal for years and was so proud of the volumes of life stories that I wrote. I remember back in 2011 when I decided to stop censoring my journals because I wanted to look back and remember exactly what it was like to be 23 years old.
I looked forward to going shopping for my next journal and treasured the journals my friends and family gave me as gifts. It is a ritual that has carried me through the highs and lows of the last decade and beyond. I loved looking back on past journals and rejoicing in the progress I had made.
My journals became heavier with every move and I especially noticed it a year ago when we sold our first house and I moved across the country. I wanted to take my stories with me, but they were too heavy to take on the journey so I put them into storage…
Last month, nearly a year later I decided to recycle almost every journal. I decided that it would be a good way to let go of the past and free up some energy and space for new adventures. As I tossed these journals into the recycle bin apprehensively, I worried that I would regret this decision. I decided to take a leap of faith and let go…
When it becomes a burden rather than a source of joy and inspiration, that is how you know that it is time to let go.
I have noticed that I have been feeling unmotivated to journal in this past month because I feel like, “what’s the point?” Am I just going to write these stories, thoughts, and insights down just to toss them out later? I do not want to waste my time, but I also know that writing is a wonderful outlet for me.
My twenties are over and I have entered my 30’s bravely with some reluctance. I guess that confidence does not just happen one day just because you are 30. It is a quality that is built over time with experience and ongoing practice. I have been experiencing a creativity block and I think that writing will help me climb this hill and see the other side.
What’s the point? I would rather organize my thoughts on paper than keep them chaotically jumbled in my mind.