The Only Way To Survive Is To Go Crazy

It is hard not to go crazy when we live in such a crazy world.

I know that sometimes my thoughts overwhelm me to the point that I feel paralyzed.  When I take a closer look at them I realize that they are worries.  These worries are usually worst-case scenarios or things that I really do not need to worry about.

When I was 10 years old I had a swim coach who told my parents that I was a sweet kid, but she was concerned because I worried about everything.   She was right back then and even 20 years later there is still some truth to what she said.

I think that worrying gives me a sense of control that I am afraid to let go of.  It is a strange and twisted sense of security.  These worries that swirl around in my head keep me from moving forward and growing and I want to set them free.  Life is going to happen no matter what and I want to spend my life working towards my goals and dreams rather than worrying about all the bad things that could happen.

My current solution is to go crazy for my passions and submerse myself in my obsessions.  Last summer my obsession was getting healthy and going to the gym.  In the fall it was dance fitness and school.  In the winter it was school, traveling, and getting grounded. In the spring it was school, my internship, taking over the business, and working out in the hot desert of Scottsdale.  Lately it has been school and work, work, work, work, work.

One thing that I know about myself is that I thrive when I am working towards my goals this was my typical schedule from the time I was 12-16:

  • 3:30-4:30 wake up and practice violin
  • 5:15-7 swim practice
  • 8:30-2:37 school
  • 3:30-5:45 swim practice
  • 6-8 homework
  • 8-9 practice voice
  • 9-11 practice violin
  • between 11 and 12 I would do homework then head to bed.

On the weekends I had swim practice in the morning followed by a 3 hr youth symphony rehearsal then I spent all day Sunday catching up on homework, practicing, and going to church.  And many weekends had swim meets that lasted all weekend long.  My life was extremely regimented and structured.

IMG_3679
My Mentors and I ❤

When I was 16 I tore my rotator cuff and my doctor said that I either had to get shoulder surgery or take a year off and do physical therapy.  I decided to take time off and that was when I fell in love with teaching swimming lessons.  I got my first job at our local YMCA and then I took off running.  By the end of that year I had 4 jobs.  I worked at the Y, The Valley, Discover Aquatics, and I was an office assistant at a plastic surgeon’s office.

At 17 I left for college and had no idea what to do with all the “spare time.”

While I am not going to go back to the intense schedule of my childhood, I will make sure that I schedule some “me time” like many of my blog friends here have suggested.  I am also going to keep pursuing my interests, learning, growing, and making it a point to worry less.

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7 thoughts on “The Only Way To Survive Is To Go Crazy

  1. Not sure where you are from, but having lived in Asia for the past 10 years can understand and sympathize with that type of grueling schedule. Hope you find your passion and creativity; coupled with that type of work ethic, can be a very successful combination!

    1. Hello, I grew up in the US, but my mom is Filipino and my Dad is Filipino/ Guamanian, but my mom runs the show 🙂 Thank you it is nice that you understand. I can definitely thank my parents for the work ethic that I have, but I have more growing to do. Thanks for reading and being encouraging! I hope you are having a great week.

      ❤ Alana

  2. I did not realize you had swimming in your background – and enjoyed learning more about you.
    I have had many years of working hard ( I like to work my ass off like you do ) and then I have seasons of resting – and I can tell you from experience that the 40s are great – well they are for people (like you) that work at self and grow and keep sculpting who they are.
    The hard work pays off – it takes time to find balance, build a life – learn more about how we are – how we respond and then modify that slowly over the years – but it all falls into place – it does- and so I know you know that – but want to remind you because it is good news…
    🙂
    hope you have a good rest of the week

    1. Thank you for that reminder. I remember when I was really young time just could not go fast enough. I looked forward to getting older and now it feels like time flies by 🙂 It gives me hope to know that the hard work pays off even if it takes awhile for things to fall into place. Thank you for always being so encouraging 🙂

      1. Well my pleasure and I am
        Glad to connect in blog land
        We sure do get to know people in special little ways – and of course that changes – and just as neighbors sometimes move – the blogosphere can have folks come and go or just change – and so
        Our paths have crossed at this season – which by the way – is flying for me again today

      2. Me too. I really enjoy this lovely blog community and have also seen many people come and go through the years. I am thankful for the snapshots of time that we have 🙂

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