Yesterday I had a revelation and it was not only caused by the fact that it was my birthday. This revelation happened because yesterday was the first time since I took over the business (about 5 months ago) that I did not work at all. That’s right! I have worked every single day including Saturdays and Sundays most of the time into the early morning (around 2 am.) There was work to be done, but my bf insisted that I take the day off. I was internally resistant and could feel it in my cheeks the entire day, but I took the day off. Do you know that feeling when you are stubborn as hell and you would rather “power through” the work than take a much needed break? Or you do break away for the break, but said break becomes way more stressful because you cannot pry your mind away from the worry and the work? Yep, that has been my life and it is my own doing.
Business has been good, but the work has kept me tightly wound. I honestly think that I take comfort in being this way because it makes me feel like I am in control. Did I really just admit that I have control-freak tendencies? I am very determined, ambitious, and industrious, but it often robs me of fluidity and I need more flexibility in my life.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I need to unwind if I want to be able to weave and create something beautiful. This applies to all aspects of my life. I hang onto things with a firm grip because I am afraid of losing and falling, but I really want to learn to let go.
What happens when you are too rigid? It is easier to stumble and break. Or in other words, “Have YOU ever tried jumping with straight legs?” This was an exercise I used to have my swimmers do back when I was a swim coach. I wanted them to use their legs and push off the walls from turns, flip-turns, and starts more powerfully.
I need to apply my own advice. I cannot jump high with stiff, tight, tense legs and this means that I need to let go and be more fluid. Fluidity leads to creativity and I know that I am capable of being creative I just need to give myself a chance.
Here’s to unwinding and taking leaps and strides towards my goals and dreams.