Hello My Dear Darling Friends!
Happy September! Have I mentioned that this year is flying by?! I believe that my year begins in September and in a sense it really does because I celebrate my birthday at the end of August. Let’s flip things and start by looking at my September goals! This month I want to focus on my passions.
“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They are not there to scare you. They are there to let you know that something is worth-it.”
- Create a Bucket-list (my year truly begins in September.)
- Make Time.
- Forget about the results.
- Live Passionately.
- Master a new technology.
Even though this past week was my birthday week, it was honestly a really depressing and sad week for me. This was not caused by any direct events or circumstances, it was simply my state of mind and state of being. My mind kept on latching on to things to worry about. I want to stop this cycle because it is exhausting.
I think that by diving into my passions it will inspire me to be brave. I hope I can redirect this sad and anxious energy into creating and enjoying my life. Yesterday I felt a little less sad than the other days, but I was more emotionless than anything and deep down probably still very sad. My partner said that he is worried about me because he wants me to enjoy these years. He felt like I am not happy hear and that I am always sad and he asked if I would rather be somewhere else. He also said that he observed that I shut down and often do not talk about things and he is completely right. I am quick to put up the walls and shut people out. It must be the Virgo in me, but for real, I think it is a defense mechanism that I have learned and I want to continue to work on better communication.
I have a tendency to push away the people who love and care for me and I do not know why. Maybe it is because I worry that I am not worthy of love. I definitely have some soul-searching to do because in my heart I know that this is not true.
Now back to this past week… My birthday was last Monday and my partner did everything he could to make it special. We drove to Kona, but had no plan so we ended up getting a slice of pizza from Kona Crust driving along Ali’i Drive then driving home. It was an absolutely beautiful road trip and I am glad that we finally went. Next time we will go with some destinations in mind.
I still had my heart set on swimming and I wanted to go to the Pineapple’s restaurant, but we found out that Pineapple’s is not even open on Mondays. This was kind of disappointing, but I know we will get there eventually. We got dinner at Ken’s House of Pancakes. I wanted to get a slice of pineapple upside down cake, but I got the chef’s scramble with hash browns and pineapple slices instead. Someday I will go back for a slice. After that we still had time to go to the beach. We went to Richardson’s Ocean Park and I spent some time floating in the ocean and watching the sun set.
I am happy about the fact that we swam 4 days in a row alternating between Richardson’s and Carlsmith’s. The first time we went to Carlsmith’s we noticed that a bunch of people were crowding around an area and taking a ton of pictures. I wondered what all the hubbub was about. Later that evening I found out that there are a bunch of seaturtles that live there. We were standing by and swimming with seaturtles and we both had no idea. I guess that is what happens when you are near-sighted without glasses.
Here are this past week’s blog posts:
- Have You Ever Tried Jumping With Straight Legs?
- The Sad Times Give Us Soul, but they also take a toll… Let this be the year I let it go.
- A Cup of Tea and a Stroll Down Memory Lane
- Breakdown Now Breakthrough
I broke down a lot and cried a lot this week. I think it needed to happen and it was part of the letting go process. Yesterday I kept saying that I don’t want to be sad like this forever. I hope that I can continue to heal and learn how to be joyful once again.
How was your week and the end of August? What are you looking forward to this September? Please comment below to share!