Hello My Dear Darling Friends!
How are you today? Today I am okay. 2 weeks ago I was way down, last week I was consistently up, and this past week I was alternating between way up and way down. I found out that it was “that time of the month.” I am still figuring out my hormones. This paragraph is probably going to be kind of personal so feel free to skip ahead! I had an iud for 3 years then got it removed last December. I felt like I kept a more even keel and was less stressed overall, but it probably had an impact on me. Before the iud I was always super irregular and would skip months at a time. That was normal and it did not really bother me especially when I was single. Now at the age of 31, it is time for me to make sure that I am aware of my cycles and that I am taking good care of myself. I miss not having mood swings and I hope that making little changes will help me feel a little less dramatic at times.
I hate that sadness seems to be the mood that I default to these days. For most of my life, I have always been a very upbeat, bubbly, and optimistic person, but lately I have been feeling down and sad. What bothers me the most is the fact that I cannot seem to pin down the cause. When I have the energy to do things I am fine. Like I practiced yoga every morning and did my workout immediately after, but then I felt sad. We had an amazing time snorkeling several times this week and my heart was completely filled with joy, but by the time we were halfway home I felt sad. Right before bed, sad. This is bothering me because it is distracting me from experiencing how wonderful life is right now. I want to figure this out. It might be time to do a “Happiness Project” this next year so that I can focus on being happy again.
There are a few other reasons that I think may be contributing to my sadness. I think a big one is the fact that I am just about done with my undergrad degree. I know that it took me a long time and I am thrilled to close this chapter of my life, but I also loved being a student. It gave me direction these past 4 years and it was a nice little retreat from reality. Another factor is this move. This move to the tropics is a dream come true! Sometimes, I wake up and I cannot even believe that I am living this life I used to think would be impossible. I love the new experiences, new faces, and new places, but I think I still miss the familiarity of home. I am sure there is more, but I do not want to harp on my sadness for too long because today I am feeling pretty okay.
I need to set some new goals for myself. I want to choose a direction. And I want to achieve mastery in an area. I also want a good creative outlet. I think that has been lacking. In another life I was a musician and an artist and lately I have been too afraid to create, or rather too busy with working from home.
I think that a morning and an evening routine would be good for me. I have always thrived with this kind of structure in the past. I also think that it would give me a good sense of independence. Sometimes it is easy to lose your sense of independence when you are in a relationship. Your lives meld together and create something beautiful, but it is important for both individuals to maintain some individuality.
Here are my blog posts from this past week:
I guess it was just one post that I wrote on a good day. I felt myself getting down and I decided to go outside and garden in the rain and it was exactly what I needed. I discovered that I am a lot happier when I spend more time outside. Thankfully, I live in a place where I will be able to be outside year round.
SEPTEMBER: PASSION
“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They are not there to scare you. They are there to let you know that something is worth-it.”
- Create a Bucket-list (my year truly begins in September.)
- Make Time.
- Forget about the results.
- Live Passionately.
- Master a new technology.
I feel like I have danced around these goals, but I have yet to really tackle them and make them happy. I am nervous about creating a bucketlist because I am worried that I will not make it happen, but I need to stop worrying about things like that. I am where I am today because I dreamed fearlessly and pushed to make those dreams come true.
How was your week? Comment below to share! I hope this new week is off to a great start!
❤ Alana
