Hello My Dear Darling Friends!
How are you today? Today I am okay. 2 weeks ago I was way down, last week I was consistently up, and this past week I was alternating between way up and way down. I found out that it was “that time of the month.” I am still figuring out my hormones. This paragraph is probably going to be kind of personal so feel free to skip ahead! I had an iud for 3 years then got it removed last December. I felt like I kept a more even keel and was less stressed overall, but it probably had an impact on me. Before the iud I was always super irregular and would skip months at a time. That was normal and it did not really bother me especially when I was single. Now at the age of 31, it is time for me to make sure that I am aware of my cycles and that I am taking good care of myself. I miss not having mood swings and I hope that making little changes will help me feel a little less dramatic at times.
I hate that sadness seems to be the mood that I default to these days. For most of my life, I have always been a very upbeat, bubbly, and optimistic person, but lately I have been feeling down and sad. What bothers me the most is the fact that I cannot seem to pin down the cause. When I have the energy to do things I am fine. Like I practiced yoga every morning and did my workout immediately after, but then I felt sad. We had an amazing time snorkeling several times this week and my heart was completely filled with joy, but by the time we were halfway home I felt sad. Right before bed, sad. This is bothering me because it is distracting me from experiencing how wonderful life is right now. I want to figure this out. It might be time to do a “Happiness Project” this next year so that I can focus on being happy again.
There are a few other reasons that I think may be contributing to my sadness. I think a big one is the fact that I am just about done with my undergrad degree. I know that it took me a long time and I am thrilled to close this chapter of my life, but I also loved being a student. It gave me direction these past 4 years and it was a nice little retreat from reality. Another factor is this move. This move to the tropics is a dream come true! Sometimes, I wake up and I cannot even believe that I am living this life I used to think would be impossible. I love the new experiences, new faces, and new places, but I think I still miss the familiarity of home. I am sure there is more, but I do not want to harp on my sadness for too long because today I am feeling pretty okay.
I need to set some new goals for myself. I want to choose a direction. And I want to achieve mastery in an area. I also want a good creative outlet. I think that has been lacking. In another life I was a musician and an artist and lately I have been too afraid to create, or rather too busy with working from home.
I think that a morning and an evening routine would be good for me. I have always thrived with this kind of structure in the past. I also think that it would give me a good sense of independence. Sometimes it is easy to lose your sense of independence when you are in a relationship. Your lives meld together and create something beautiful, but it is important for both individuals to maintain some individuality.
Here are my blog posts from this past week:
I guess it was just one post that I wrote on a good day. I felt myself getting down and I decided to go outside and garden in the rain and it was exactly what I needed. I discovered that I am a lot happier when I spend more time outside. Thankfully, I live in a place where I will be able to be outside year round.
“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They are not there to scare you. They are there to let you know that something is worth-it.”
- Create a Bucket-list (my year truly begins in September.)
- Make Time.
- Forget about the results.
- Live Passionately.
- Master a new technology.
I feel like I have danced around these goals, but I have yet to really tackle them and make them happy. I am nervous about creating a bucketlist because I am worried that I will not make it happen, but I need to stop worrying about things like that. I am where I am today because I dreamed fearlessly and pushed to make those dreams come true.
How was your week? Comment below to share! I hope this new week is off to a great start!