Be-YOU-tifully you Project 2.0 Week #37

2019

Hello My Dear Darling Friends!

How are you today?  Today I am okay.  2 weeks ago I was way down, last week I was consistently up, and this past week I was alternating between way up and way down.  I found out that it was “that time of the month.”  I am still figuring out my hormones.  This paragraph is probably going to be kind of personal so feel free to skip ahead!  I had an iud for 3 years then got it removed last December.  I felt like I kept a more even keel and was less stressed overall, but it probably had an impact on me.  Before the iud I was always super irregular and would skip months at a time.  That was normal and it did not really bother me especially when I was single.  Now at the age of 31, it is time for me to make sure that I am aware of my cycles and that I am taking good care of myself.  I miss not having mood swings and I hope that making little changes will help me feel a little less dramatic at times.

I hate that sadness seems to be the mood that I default to these days.  For most of my life, I have always been a very upbeat, bubbly, and optimistic person, but lately I have been feeling down and sad.  What bothers me the most is the fact that I cannot seem to pin down the cause.  When I have the energy to do things I am fine.  Like I practiced yoga every morning and did my workout immediately after, but then I felt sad.  We had an amazing time snorkeling several times this week and my heart was completely filled with joy, but by the time we were halfway home I felt sad.  Right before bed, sad.  This is bothering me because it is distracting me from experiencing how wonderful life is right now.  I want to figure this out.  It might be time to do a “Happiness Project” this next year so that I can focus on being happy again.

There are a few other reasons that I think may be contributing to my sadness.  I think a big one is the fact that I am just about done with my undergrad degree.  I know that it took me a long time and I am thrilled to close this chapter of my life, but I also loved being a student.  It gave me direction these past 4 years and it was a nice little retreat from reality.  Another factor is this move.  This move to the tropics is a dream come true!  Sometimes, I wake up and I cannot even believe that I am living this life I used to think would be impossible.  I love the new experiences, new faces, and new places, but I think I still miss the familiarity of home.   I am sure there is more, but I do not want to harp on my sadness for too long because today I am feeling pretty okay.

I need to set some new goals for myself.  I want to choose a direction.  And I want to achieve mastery in an area.  I also want a good creative outlet.  I think that has been lacking.  In another life I was a musician and an artist and lately I have been too afraid to create, or rather too busy with working from home.

I think that a morning and an evening routine would be good for me.  I have always thrived with this kind of structure in the past.  I also think that it would give me a good sense of independence.  Sometimes it is easy to lose your sense of independence when you are in a relationship.  Your lives meld together and create something beautiful, but it is important for both individuals to maintain some individuality.

Here are my blog posts from this past week:

I guess it was just one post that I wrote on a good day.  I felt myself getting down and I decided to go outside and garden in the rain and it was exactly what I needed.  I discovered that I am a lot happier when I spend more time outside.  Thankfully, I live in a place where I will be able to be outside year round.

SEPTEMBER: PASSION

“Don’t be afraid of your fears.  They are not there to scare you.  They are there to let you know that something is worth-it.”

  • Create a Bucket-list (my year truly begins in September.)
  • Make Time.
  • Forget about the results.
  • Live Passionately.
  • Master a new technology.

I feel like I have danced around these goals, but I have yet to really tackle them and make them happy.  I am nervous about creating a bucketlist because I am worried that I will not make it happen, but I need to stop worrying about things like that.  I am where I am today because I dreamed fearlessly and pushed to make those dreams come true.

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Here is my weekly be-YOU-tiful pic ❤ in the garden!

How was your week? Comment below to share! I hope this new week is off to a great start!

❤ Alana

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