Hello My Dear Darling Friends!
Depression, sadness, more depression, more sadness… That was the vibe of my entire week and it is hard to feel alive and passionate in the midst of depression. I really hope that this is temporary and something that I can heal from. I feel myself withdrawing and pushing away the people who love and care about me. When my partner asks me what is wrong I do not even know what to say and my mind goes blank. He is worried about me and I am worried about me too…
I am definitely trying to heal. I practice yoga in the morning, go outside and work in the garden, and this week I started a meditation practice. I have also been more mindful about my food choices and I am making it a point to move my body and sweat more. I wish that I could feel happy. I wish that I could better articulate myself. I wish that I could stop feeling sad and depressed.
Maybe I have reached the point where I need to just catch myself feeling sad and do everything I can to be more positive. I need to redirect my energy and to think more happy thoughts. This way of being is robbing me of so much joy and is keeping me from growing. It is hard to be passionate when I am like this.
Here are this week’s blog posts:
The ironic thing is the fact that I wrote about how I was making this deliberate choice to be happy again. But then, this was also a very stressful week. Our rain catchment ran out of water and that mean that both of our houses had no water for a day. Thankfully we were able to solve the issue quickly and got our systems running in no time. It was stressful, but I felt so alive and invigorated by facing that challenge.
I did find moments of joy, but I always feel an undertone of stress and sadness and it is hard for me to shut it off. My partner and I started running this week and it felt so good. I think it also helped to even out my mood. I hope that I will be able to heal and feel better. It has been hard for me to have the energy to feel passionate.
“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They are not there to scare you. They are there to let you know that something is worth-it.”
- Create a Bucket-list (my year truly begins in September.) I still need to do this.
- Make Time.
- Forget about the results.
- Live Passionately.
- Master a new technology.
This was not a very good week because I was so sad and depressed, but good things did happen. I am going to keep hanging on and hoping for the best.
How was your week? Please comment below to share.