In My Heart Forever You’ll Stay…

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“Island Girls” watercolor painting by 12 yr old me ❤

I always looked forward to your visits.  Grandpa Leo playing “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” on our piano and you and I singing and dancing together.

On our road trip adventures you used to bring your ukulele along and sing song after song.

I loved listening to your stories and the way you would speak a mixture of Tagalog and Hawaiian to me.

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Grandma Alice, my Sister, and I at Depoe Bay

You were the most beautiful type of sentimental and had coffee tables and dressers full of framed pictures of your family.

You were my very 1st penpal and we wrote letters to each other throughout my entire life.  Even when I was in California during my “not my brightest moment” years of 19-22 you always answered my letters so faithfully.

You decorated the kitchen cabinets with birthday cards, pictures, and letters.

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I got to visit Grandma before leaving for New Zealand ❤

I loved how your socks always matched your blouse which matched your earrings.

You ROCKED that red lipstick like it was nobody’s business.

Thank you for Never Ever missing a single birthday and for always remembering the things that mattered.

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Miss you ❤

You and I had such a special bond.  We had so much in common and I love how you always loved and accepted me unconditionally.  We also have the same laugh.  People always said that we were so alike and that is the biggest compliment.

I could go on and on about the millions of things that I love about you, Grandma Alice.  I miss you more than words could ever say.  I wish that I could talk to you again.  Thank you for helping me become that I am today.  In my heart forever you’ll stay…

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I miss our summer vacations with Grandma Alice

I am so glad that you are in heaven right now.  I will always remember you and I will do my very best to live well, be happy, and spread love and joy the way that you always did.

❤ Alana Girl

16 thoughts on “In My Heart Forever You’ll Stay…

  1. such a wonderful tribute to your sweet Grandmother Alice.
    And you know how they say the yes and smile of a person can reveal a lot? In Alice I can see her joy and honesty.
    You surely were blessed to have her.
    Also, I love the photo of her kitchen – the one with you two (it says before leaving for NZ)
    the details say so much and it is culture rich

    1. Thank you so much. I miss her so much. I am not usually a person who reads to deeply into dreams, but I have noticed that I have been having a lot of dreams of her since I moved to Hawaii. She grew up on this island and the beautiful thing was that when the sellers accepted our offer in March. She answered my phone call and I was able to tell her that we were moving here. It feel like I got her blessing. It was the last time we talked and a month later she had a major stroke.
      Also, that is one of my favorite pictures of us too. Thank you for stopping by.

      ❤ Alana

      1. Yes – a big part of life and I think the goal is to let our grief breathe but reign it in with healthy detachment (not all detachment is bad) and when my dad died in 2004 – I was so grief stricken the first week – on day 7 I could not swallow and knew I had to watch the physical connection to the way I was letting his loss weigh me down!
        And seriously –
        On day 8 I knew I had to find a new mode – I see that god was right there reminding me of that and showing me insights – I see it so much more now! He is a counselor and comforter
        Anyhow – when my aunt passed away at ge end of last year- the one aunt I was really close to – well we thought she was going to die about four times so there was that prep side- but guess what! I did not even cry and fully express my grief until seven months later.
        When she passed away end of November – there was life busy stuff cos it was the holidays and I was teaching a lot – then there was chaos at both of her funerals ( she had three small funerals because she retired in Florida) anyhow – the tension at her funeral did kind of fit because she has some years of being drama and it was a bit of just desserts.
        Anyhow – still loved the woman greatly and her passing has left a hole –
        So anyhow – someone else died in June (not
        Someone close to me) but that death triggered a day of grieving for my aunt!
        It was weird – and cool!
        I had the hubs there and he was like – what’s wrong baby?
        And with tears and whining (bwahhhh) I was like “aunt Maxine died” and he was like – last year honey….
        And I was like – blah blah blah
        Talked about how much I loved her – she let me use her car – how she said I counseled her after her lung surgery (I was 14 and had that counselor side!)
        And many tissues later – that was a needed Healing day! Now I have the tiny bits of small things that come up – but always with a smile and feel that I did what was needed for that loss.
        Each person will need a different healing path from us – and your grandma was so close to you so you will likely have a few times where you process and move thru parts of it- maybe not – but as I know you well know – there is no formula for grief and healing
        There are those stages ((five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression))
        and a new one -// “meaning”//
        But dang! It is so individual

    1. Thank you ❤ I would like to start creating art again. It is one of those things where it has been so long since I have drawn or painted I worry I cannot do it anymore, but I won't know unless I try, right ? 🙂

      1. well I think it is like riding a bike – well some parts of it are – and when you do get back around to painting – I think you will bring a surge of freshness and creative juices to it.
        I used to follow a bunch of artists and many of them did art – went into business world – and then maybe 10 or 15 years later they got back into art – in a different way but matching their life then.
        and I think you will find that your art side never leaves – and even right now it is being conditioned by all your living – kind of like soil that does not have stuff grown on it – it is fortified –
        and right now I follow “doodlewash” and he has daily water color challenges with monthly themes – – I have been wanting to join in for a while but have to watch what I add in right now….

      2. I love your mentality because it is not limiting. Growing up I played instruments and was very creative. My instructors did a great job of preparing me to be a good student and to eventually study performance in college, but many of them made it seem like if we could not make it in high school or college then it would be too late to really cultivate that skill (that was violin) so after high school I gave it up.
        Now I am starting to see that there is value in the arts beyond highschool and college. I will have to check out doodlewash.

        Thank you,

        ❤ Alana

      3. Hi / oh my goodness can certain music teachers make students feel defeated and you are so right that the instrument one plays goes beyond age.
        There is something to the early years for certain professions – but I know someone who started piano in his 50s – and I know someone right now who had played guitar since a teen and recently decided to learn a whole new style of playing.
        And the violin is such a sweet instrument – I think it is awesome that you realize the importance of the arts and your talent in that area.
        And as a high achiever and extremely talented woman – I like how you assess and think about your life! You are so intentional and passionate and move forward with purpose and grit! It is admirable – just don’t let your joy get robbed along the way! That can happen with “high conscientious” people – they truck on and reach awesome goals – but sometimes a lackluster feeling creeps in – it kind of comes with the intention and grit gift mix!

        — that was nice to read that my outlook is not limiting – woo hoo!
        I guess I have to thank some years of living for shaping my view – and without sounding religious – I do give god all the glory for the ways he has quieted my whining – soothed my aches – brought peace that passed understanding and really does give us that contentment that had to be felt to understand! Oh god is good!
        Helped me find answers when I needed them – and love how he makes the crooked way straight! Or how he gives us strength and grace when the crooked way gets bumpier – and as we wait o him!
        I think some people keep god on this outstretched platform where he is there as creator but forget he is active and wants intimacy with us. He leaves us flawed and growing because it keeps us usable! He could zap us into this certain type of person that we might call ideal – but god uses us in our growing stages to connect with others and to bond with him. Like you and I connecting this year is a God appointment and we just click right now – and here is what I think we bonded over
        – the word of the day you shared (cos aren’t words just awesome) and work out talk (cos self care is huge for wellness)

        So maybe ten years ago our blog paths (if we had one) would not have crossed – but here we are….
        And guess what?
        Thought of you last night with my reading!
        I have a snippet to share with you that I think you will love!
        Be back later to share it!
        It was about thought life!

      4. Being an adult feels like a completely new experience and it can also be so empowering, but also overwhelming too. Thank you for telling me about the musicians who continued to cultivate their musical talents.
        Thank you for your kind words. I have always been a high achiever and am now a recovering perfectionist. While it has its advantages it can also be so limiting. I think I am going to finish reading Carole Dweck’s book “Mindset” which talks about the fixed mindset versus the growth mindset.
        It is wonderful that you give the glory to God. God really is good and can find pieces of ourselves we did not even know we had to make us whole. I have to admit that I have gotten away from the church I grew up in, but I do believe in God and am always praying. I am glad that he helped bring us together 🙂
        I was just thinking of getting back into doing my “Workout and Word of the Day”
        Hope you are doing well today.

        ❤ Alana

      5. Things here are well – thanks – actually had a most special weekend (story for another time)
        And regarding the topic of god and faith ((real quick like))
        In my teens and early 20s – it was Christians and the country club Church setting (in the US) that kept me away from God – I saw legalism – angry Christians and I saw “religion” and then I learned that faith and spirituality are god-made whereas the religion is a man made thing – and it can have positives but too often it is rules and oppressive approach to god-
        The freedom in Christ is often lost and to this day I still think some of the meanest people I have ever met have been in the church –
        Sad but true –
        And my thought is that we “are the church and we bring our sanctuary with us” and so while the goal is to “not forsake the gathering together with other believers” so we can edify one another – it does not have to be the way the current religious churches are set up in the States.

        And hope your weekend is going well
        ☀️

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