The Ups, Downs, & All Arounds

This morning I came to some real realizations…

I realized that…

“Real Eyes Realize Real Lies.”

-Tupac

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But I digress…

For almost an entire year I have been feeling an unsettled tension in my heart. For the past few months I have been feeling down and depressed, but I could not quite put my finger on an exact cause.  I know that I have been feeling a lot of sadness around my Grandma Alice going to heaven.  It could also have something to do with the fact that I spent this last year moving around and did not spend a lot of time in each place.

Last June – September: We were in Southern Maine for the first 3.5 months and then bought a house in Northern Maine in mid-September.  I was only in the new home for a day and a half.

Last Mid September – December:  I returned to my hometown in Washington State for a quarter of classes on campus.  It was a challenging time and I was faced with lots of health problems and the strain of being in a long distance relationship while working through a strenuous academic quarter.  I also focused more on my nutrition and staying active.  I grew a lot as a person during this time.

End of December – first week of January: We spent this time with  my partner’s family.  They were so supportive and welcoming and it was nice to have this support as we took some time to decide “what happens next?”

Throughout the fall months I had my mind and heart set on returning to our new home in Maine with our cuddly cats and rocking chairs sipping tea and coffee on our front porch enjoying the view of Canada right across the river.

At the beginning of January we both decided that we should go some place that was warm because Maine was so snowy and cold at that time…

January – May: We found the sun in the upscale side of Scottsdale, Arizona.  I started hitting the gym hard and challenging myself physically.  I enjoyed the wild beauty of the desert.  This was also the time when I took over the businesses and I started dreaming bigger.

I guess you could say that we spent this year chasing the very best weather!  It started heating up in Arizona and we talked about heading some place with better weather.  At first we thought Cali would be worth returning to, but then when he asked me where I would want to go since I could choose anywhere in the world?  I chose Hawaii!

May: We took a fun road trip with the truck and our 2 cats and revisited our hometown while we waited for our offer on the Hawaii property to fully go through.  It was so nice to spend time with our family and friends and catch a little breather in a familiar place before embarking on another grand adventure.

June – This Magical Moment: We are living the dream in a magical paradise and every day I wake up I feel like I am still dreaming.

This morning we dropped a friend off at the airport and as we were driving home I realized that my heart is full of gratitude.  I am so thankful for the way everything has happened.

I spent a long time (probably too long) feeling sad about not being able to experience life in our Maine house.  Today I realized that life would have been completely different if I had just returned to Northern Maine back in December.  I would have “missed out” on the past 9 months of grand adventures in different places and it probably would have taken us longer to get to Hawaii if we ever made it here at all.

Glass walls shielded from the light of day
If they ever found a crack
And looked inside what would they say
Voices telling you to stay this way
Why don’t you just take a break
Contemplate if this is fake and…

Be honest, be honest with yourself
Be honest, be honest with yourself

Do you really want to follow what they said
Is that pressure leaving diamonds in your head
As you look up at the stars
And how they never seem to shine
Let them remind you that your light is brighter if you’ll just…

Be honest, be honest with yourself
Be honest, be honest with yourself

It is perfect timing that it happens to be the first day of October too!

Today I realized that I am thankful for everything.  All the ups, downs, and all arounds!  I would not change a single moment or trade it for anything.

❤ Alana

6 thoughts on “The Ups, Downs, & All Arounds

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