“You cannot want it for anyone else but yourself.”
This is a very recent revelation that has brought me peace these past few days. Now I can better understand why my friends and family used to tell me not to settle even back when my self esteem was so low and I felt unworthy. I can more clearly see what they saw when they used to point out red flags of a toxic relationship or express their concern. I used to listen, but also shrug it off because I wanted things to work. “What did they know about love and life? This was my heart and my life.”
Now I can see why I was encouraged to stop wasting my talent and go back to school. To keep going and not give up on myself…
Sometimes I mourn the loss of time and wish that I would have believed in myself sooner in life. What would have happened if I had decided to go for it back when I wanted to?
There were words that used to seem so harsh and now I can see the wisdom in them. There was advise that was given to protect me, but I wanted to do things my way and had to stumble before I could get back up and rebuild my life.
I had to learn these lessons in my own time. There were lots of lessons that I was not ready to hear, but I listened and stored them away in my heart and I have noticed that through the years I have revisited those lessons and they have served me well. Sometimes I wish that I would have listened and applied them sooner, but again, I had to learn these lessons in my own time.
Experiences, making mistakes and learning from them, loss, and wins have increased my wisdom and I am starting to become one of those voices that shares advice.
It is amazing how much you can foresee when you have been through challenges and struggles yourself. You can almost predict likely outcomes and you want to shield the people you care about and love from the undesirable outcomes.
The lesson still holds true, “You cannot want it for anyone else, but yourself.”
I could offer suggestions and advice over and over again in lots of different ways, but the person will not accept it until they decide that it is what they really want. They have to want it for themselves for it to work. When we figure out what we need and apply lessons and advice, it gives that advice true value. Just knowing that I can offer the advice then let go and allow the person to discover their own truth in their own time feels truly freeing.
My heart is still open, I will still offer suggestions, but I feel even more free to focus my energy on making my goals and dreams come true.