2020 Happiness Project Week #9

Blue and Gold New Year Social Media Post

Hello My Dear Darling Friends!

It has only been a few days since we covered the last few weeks, but I have felt a dramatic shift in my energy since then.  This week I felt frustrated, angry, and even a little enraged…

Nothing earth shattering happened, but I did let some things get under my skin more than I usually do.  I just need to get some things off of my chest.  Our mornings are sacred and lately my morning have been feeling a little skewed.  I don’t mind meeting friends for coffee every now and then and when we have company visiting us I enjoy it.  But this week our neighbor wanted to join us for morning coffee every morning and by Friday it got to be a little much.  On Thursday night I felt so much anxiety around it that I could hardly fall asleep.  The biggest thing that bothers me is that this person frequently puts their partner down and complains about him in front of my partner and I and it makes things awkward.  We know him and their kids and he seems like a nice person.  She is also loud and likes to be the center of attention.  I like to blend in more and be more lowkey and peaceful.  My partner and I agreed that the energy was just so frantic that it was hard to be around.  I felt drained the rest of the day and it bothered me that it affected me so much.  Thankfully, she spends the weekend with her family.

On Saturday morning we discovered that our rainwater catchment was dry AGAIN!  We had just gotten a delivery just 17 days ago because the catchment was dry.  I was not very upset when it happened earlier this month it was just a little stressful since it happened on the same day that my partner’s dad was flying into Hawaii to visit us.  I had a feeling back then that we would need to refill it.  We had to refill it for the first time in September when Calder was visiting us.  Then again in November when my sister was visiting us.  I know that it wasn’t due to their visits because they did not use much water and my sister was only here for a whole day.  I was upset this time around because it has been raining a lot and this should not happen so soon after a refill.  It was even more stressful that it happened during the weekend because the water delivery companies are usually only open during the week so it takes a lot of leg work to find someone willing to deliver on the same day on the weekend.  But the part that made me most upset is the fact that we had to pay money for water that falls from the sky freely and water that we can get for free from the local spring.

truck
There was a very aesthetic delivery truck in my driveway

We have had many talks with our renters about how important it is to conserve water here.  We are on the grid, but it feels semi-off-grid since all of the houses in our neighborhood operate off of a rainwater catchment.  The catchment holds 4,000 gallons and we should not have blown through that in just 17 days especially since it has been raining a lot.  The last time it was dry earlier this month I noticed that the neighbor had washed her car early in the morning.  And last week when we took the folks from Netherlands on that road trip when we got back the neighbors were using the hose to clean their car again.  It is kind of frustrating because a hose uses a lot of water and you really don’t need to wash your car since it rains almost every day.  It costs $135 to refill and I was upset about the fact that we had to pay that twice in one month and this is the shortest month in the entire year.  It is a lesson learned.  In the future we will split water costs with our renters if it needs to be refilled and hopefully everyone will be more mindful of their use.

When we first moved here at the end of June it was the dry season, but we made it through the entire summer without having to fill the catchment.  It wasn’t until September that it dried out.  Okay, I am done ranting about it.  It wasn’t so much the expense because we were able to cover it; I think it was the idea that we had to spend extra money and I just think that it could have been avoided with more careful planning.  On the bright side, we were able to inspect our gutters, take the catchment cover off, and see that the catchment is in good condition and there are no cracks or leaks.  Today we got a skim net and a brand new catchment cover.  Oh the joys of being a landlord.  Thanks for letting me vent.

I really let this whole thing upset me and it was hard for me to feel better about it.  It made me realize that I really need to work on letting things go and not allowing things to bother me so much.  All the stress just isn’t worth-it.

Here are my blog posts from this week:

Overall, I have been feeling out of whack and not my best self.  It probably has something to do with the fact that it was that “time of the month” for me.  But I really don’t want to become a monster every since month.  I need to learn better coping mechanisms.

Additionally, my cravings have been high and my motivation to workout so low.  I was around Day #64 of my 90 day workout plan, but I think I need to do a different program just to switch things up.  I really enjoy Hasfit, but I think I need a little more variety right now especially since I am working out at home.  It may be time to do my Fitness Blender 8 week program round #2.

Thank goodness I am working on finding peace for this month of March.  My heart and soul and probably my partner sure need me to be more peaceful.  I felt good during the first half of February.  January was such a solid month for me and I was on point and focused the entire time, but February was cut in half.  I am so glad it was a short month.  My good habits carried over from January, but after our company came for a visit I started moving in the opposite direction.

I have to say it again.  Working out consistently at home is challenging!  I really enjoy the convenience and the privacy, but I miss having a change of scenery that you can get at the gym or in a class.  I think that once I get back on track with my consistent workouts I will feel more at peace.

MARCH: FIND PEACE

“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.”

-Wayne W. Dyer

  • Breathe deeply.  I need to do more of this.  Yesterday I felt stuck in “fight or flight” and it was bad.
  • Garden.  Last week I spent nearly every day in the garden and it was lovely.
  • Practice yoga everyday.  I missed yesterday because I was exhausted from the stress, but I started today with yoga.
  • Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.  I need to do this.  The negative thoughts have been much stronger than the positive ones.
  • Tidy everyday.  I think this will help me to feel more peaceful.  I commit to making our bed every morning and making sure that all the dishes are clean before I go to bed.

I have honestly spent the last few days feeling like a mess and when I feel like a mess I feel useless.  And when I feel useless I imagine that I am not much fun to be around.  I am thankful that my partner is so supportive and patient, but I want to do a better job so that we can enjoy each others company.  I don’t want to push the people that I love the most away.  When I get stressed out and feel useless I know that I get distant and I push people away.

I have a lot to work on, but I am ready to get to work.  I hope you will have a wonderful week, my friends!  Thanks for catching up with me.

❤ Alana

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