30 lbs lighter and still feeling too heavy…

I am 30 pounds lighter than I was on my birthday (end of August.) And I am still struggling to love myself.

There are times when I can celebrate my progress and feel proud of the results that I have gotten from working my butt off (consistently.) I often feel lighter, brighter, and inspired to continue my fitness and health journey.

But sometimes I push too hard. I get pushy and cruel too fast and punish myself for finishing last or even skipping when I am tired and worn out. When I let the stress get the best of me the consequence is usually an injury and that forces me to slow the F down…

This week was hard because I took some video clips of my hula hoop workouts / dances and posted them on my stories even though I still don’t love the way that I look. Dancing and video doesn’t always give us the chance to show our best angles.

And the truth is that I have no idea what I am doing!

I love dancing, hula hooping, and moving my body because it brings me joy and helps me to work up a sweat.

Why on earth do I share my videos if they make me feel bad about myself?…

Because I want to be real.

Does this push me out of my comfort zone? HELL YEAH! Because there I am flaws and imperfections for all to see wiggling, spinning, and having the time of my life.

I stopped sharing some of my videos until some of my friends said that they love seeing them.

I am trying to hide less and am practicing acceptance. I am also trying to accept where I am right here and now and appreciate how far I have come.

I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful just the way you are. There is enough heaviness in the world let’s let the shit that is weighing us down go to be lighter.

❤ Alana

4 thoughts on “30 lbs lighter and still feeling too heavy…

  1. Be kind to yourself! You’ve made amazing progress. It’s a marathon not a sprint!
    I injured my knee last year and I keep trying to push too hard and just make it worse, it’s so frustrating. I feel like I’ve lost my main stress outlet because I can’t do cardio anymore 🙁 anyways, I’m working on not getting angry at my body for what it can’t do anymore, and what it isn’t. It’s definitely hard!

    1. Hello Cleia,
      You’re right, kindness is so important. It is easy to forget because the progress becomes addictive and it is easy to fall into being too pushy (especially with running.)
      I am learning that injuries and being out of shape are so humbling, but also a good exercise in patience.
      I’m sorry about your injury and hope that you are starting to feel better. I had an injury this past summer and regular icing, epsom salt baths, and arnicare gel (arnica) slowly helped me to feel better.
      Thank you for your encouragement! I hope you will have a wonderful week!

      ❤ Alana

  2. Keep going and have patience. There will be bad days and there will be good days but don’t give up – you’re already doing so well 🙂

    It’s really important to equally listen to your body too and give it what it needs sometimes, I think we often guilt-trip ourselves into thinking it doesn’t need rest. Take care!

    1. Thank you so much for saying this! I didn’t do everything that I had planned on doing yesterday workout wise and it ended up being exactly what my body needed.
      I hope you are having a wonderful February so far!

      ❤ Alana

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