On Tuesday I started listening to a podcast my sister sent to me called “Slowing Down”. The speaker was making good points from the beginning and I had my notebook out with my pen ready to write down what she was saying. But I realized I was sitting there with frustration thinking about how I would have to be doing this for the next hour when there were these issues swirling in my mind that I wanted to talk to God about. So I stopped listening to the podcast and went to the source. I prayed and asked God for what I needed. I had been going to a bunch of people and asking them for prayer and getting a little bit of peace, but it didn’t last. I decided to ask Jesus for what I wanted, a revelation of his love. I heard him telling me to be kind to myself. I remembered a picture that I had deleted of myself, and a thought came into my mind “He loves you like that!”. Suddenly, I understood that Jesus loved me NO MATTER WHAT. That was a HUGE revelation. No matter what I do, say, or think, Jesus still loves me! That IS a crazy love! That is what He did for me when he died for me on the cross, paying for all of my sins that I did and am going to do. WOW!
My dear mother-in-law sent me a little card today and it says “Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Romans 8:38-39”. Since that revelation on Tuesday I’ve managed to screw up quite a bit, starting fights with my husband, getting angry with myself, and trying to sink into the deep ugly hole of self-pity. But God won’t let me stay there!! He is always chasing me, and He is always with me. He knows what I need and even when I start trying to escape that revelation that He loves me NO MATTER WHAT, He reminds me that NOTHING can separate me from His love. That means NOTHING! Wow!!!!