When it comes to love, meaning romance and relationships, I have always been a dreamer. I have also always been very shy. But God did give me a gift of beauty so I have had quite a few encounters with the opposite sex over my lifetime. My sister loves to remind me that she had to watch me kiss my first boyfriend because my parents made us bring her and his sister on our date! As if that kiss wasn’t awkward enough! Unfortunately many of my dating relationships were challenging for me because I struggled to say what I really wanted to say. The times when I did, I would feel really scared, then embarrassed, or ashamed. I had 2 long term relationships in high school and college, but as a working professional, I stayed single while I watched many of my friends move forward in marriage and having families. I got frustrated with the dating scene, took to traveling and trying to run half marathons (getting cool medals made it worthwhile) for fun. When running that far became too painful I did other exercise programs, and started traveling in the US instead of just internationally when I got tired of planning huge trips.
In 2019 I returned to the US from a 5 month journey to New Zealand I had taken to focus on God. I was sad because there had been a guy that I liked, and I felt like the situation really did not get resolved well. I decided I was just going to focus on Jesus on not let men get in my way. The very next church I went to had an attractive single leader in attendance, on fire for the Lord. As attractive as he was though I had to stick to my focus, which was not easy.
The next few years were challenging – a woman I trusted for advice suggested that the nightmares I was having meant I was dealing with a sex demon, which I unfortunately believed. I struggled with increasing fear and anxiety, and then covid hit, sending me and everyone else into isolation. I tried to do a lot of things to get out of my situation – praying, reading the Bible, and occasionally participating in group Bible study plans that I was invited to on the Bible app by a user named Sunny D (Jef).
I felt really ashamed about this demon – and I struggled with talking to anyone about it because it seemed so ridiculous. As I tried to fight my fear, I prayed for someone to talk to that wouldn’t make fun of me or ridicule me, someone to help me with this situation. Coincidently, I also prayed for God to arrange my marriage for me since it just seemed too hard for me to find a suitable mate, and a good friend of mine was happy in her arranged marriage.
Toward the end of 2020, a number of events had me thinking about marriage again and I wondered what was going on. I had a continuous dream that I was supposed to marry an elementary school friend who’s last name was “Day”. I was convinced it was true, wondering when I would meet him again! Coming home from a trip to Colorado, I saw a commercial for an engagement ring that I KNEW was the ring for me. I happily googled it and took a screenshot to put in my phone. I had a dream where 2 guys from the church I grew up in gave me rings – but I knew I wasn’t secure enough to get married.
On January 9, 2021, Jef messaged me on Facebook, wanting to share some things with me. I agreed, warning him that I was not interested in dating. We started chatting on the phone and after time I found myself telling him about the sex demon. He suggested it was not real, and to just stop doing the things I was doing – something that seemed really scary to me. So I did, and the bad dreams I was having stopped, but not all of the fears. We continued to talk, and in February Jef told me he wanted to court me – meaning he wanted to date with the purpose of getting married! This was exactly what I wanted, not dating meaninglessly, and wasting time. As we began our dating relationship, my heart did wander, wondering if I was actually attracted to him, and I did tell him I had to stop seeing him because I was not attracted to him. I prayed with a friend, and a few days later felt like I should facetime Jef. When I did, I WAS attracted to him! Our relationship blossomed, and I found myself hitting the road to move to Ohio in early April 2021.
On April 24, 2021, Jef took me to look for engagement rings. First we went to a very nice shop, but it wasn’t the one with the ring I had seen. Next we went to the store that had the ring. When I tried it on, I cried because it really was perfect! Jef happily bought the ring and we went to an Indian food restaurant to eat dinner together. As we were eating, he told me he wanted to propose right then, and I felt scared – was I really ready to be engaged?
After dinner, Jef parked the car by the river and we went to sit on a bench. He got on one knee and started to share how he felt about me and what I meant to him. We both started started crying. After spilling our emotions, Jef asked if I would marry him, and I said yes! It did feel scary, because I had no idea what it would be like, but it also felt super exciting and a HUGE answer to prayer.
God is SO faithful! First He gave me the friend I needed to listen to me, and then he arranged my marriage in a way that I could never have imagined!